The other day, I happened upon a picture of Princess Diana. I should be used to seeing her, since she is probably the most photographed person ever, but I don’t really think I had ever really looked at her. In the grand scheme of things, she really wasn’t all that good looking. Sure, she was pretty… but she wasn’t beautiful. I don’t mean to speak ill of the dead. She did many wonderful things in her life, and should be an example to rich, jobless beauties everywhere. For sure, she’s a hell of a lot better person than the number two most photographed person. (I’m looking at you, Paris. Get of your ass and do some good for the world.) But anyway, my point is that she wasn’t that hot.
We’re all aware of the stereotype that English people are fucked up looking. I mean, look at Prince Charles. They are known for being pale and having fucked up teeth. Sure, their accents are charming and all, but looks are pretty damn important. It’s no shocker that they would worship Di– She was the prettiest pebble in the pile. Still though, I never really bought into this belief. Sure, they had some fucked up looking people, but it isn’t fair to say that the majority of them are fucked up looking. Even given exhibit 1: Amy Winehouse.
Side story… My kids are in town, and I wanted to take them to see a movie (Some of you might remember the editorial I wrote based on when I took them to see Happy Feet). That Golden Compass movie looked pretty kid-friendly, but when I looked it up it was PG-13. This kind of shocked me, cause it looked a lot like the previews for The Chronicles of Narnia. Regardless, with all the drama I had this holiday I didn’t have time to get the kids to the movies. I did, however, realize that I hadn’t actually seen The Chronicles of Narnia, so I rented it from the internet. We watched it tonight, and I think I have changed my mind about British people. They are fucked up looking.
Since I always avoid posting pictures of minors on these porn-friendly sites, I don’t have any visual aids to assist me. Still, if you Google Chronicles of Narnia you’ll see exactly what I mean. I have only three possible solutions as to how those kids got the part:
1. The casting department is blind, and didn’t realize that the kids they hired are the ugliest ghosts in the world. They only hired on acting ability (which was pretty good) and just managed to luck out with the older kid being kinds good looking.
2. The director intentionally hired ass-ugly people to play in the movie so the characters would blend in more to the freakish characters in the flick.
3. Three-quarters of British people are ugly as sin and look like they’ve been locked in a basement for their entire lives. Therefore, it’s almost impossible to hire four attractive kids to star in your movie.
I’m really leaning toward the third option here.